Short Love Poem

Literally wrote this in 7 minutes, but I'm quite fond of it. Comments are appreciated

I really like this Rose. It's abstract, deep, and was a pleasure to read. The second half (after "company") really brought some sad imagery to my mind, but in a good way because it shows how others can connect with your work. I think "sympathy" was the perfect word choice, as I feel it doesn't resolve the poem emotionally, which makes it that much more impactful; something I think the shortness also helps with.

The first and fifth lines reminded me of the Beatles' 'I Am The Walrus,' which I thoroughly enjoyed. XD

I find this extremely depressing but good at the same time. The phrase "alone in company" makes a lot of sense to me so keep up the good work and produce some mo' poetry. I approve of your talent!!!

I analyzed this with you Rose and I think we got a really good read out of it. The abstract nature of it allows a good amount of interpretation, which lets more people relate to the poem than more straightforward writing would allow. May favorite and most dramatic reading of this is where the guy has cheated on the girl.

In "So strong the ties of lovers lie" the lie seems to have a double meaning, and its position on the end of the line adds a little emphasis to it. The fact that it talks about the strength of ties also doubles for how strong the consequences are for the lies of the man in the poem.

The first and fifth lines also bring attention to the man's awareness of who they are. The fact that he is dwelling on this makes me think he is thinking about his transgression and wondering how he could be so mean to this person who meant so much to him. This is furthered when the poem asks why should he be sad when he is lying with his lover. "What sorrow befalls he?"

The smile adorning his soul is just a sad and bittersweet knife to the emotions of the reader if they read it like I did. That smile that he does not deserve, and tat will be scared away when she learns of what he did.

Finally, that word sympathy at the end gives a great end to this sad poem. He is not smiling out of happiness, but sympathy for her. His sorrow can be felt behind that smile, and yet she has no idea.

Funnily enough that isn't what you had in mind when you wrote it, but as John Green says, authorial intent doesn't even matter. If you can take more from the book than the author put in, then that is simply a wonderful thing. It is not invalidated by the fact that the author did it by accident.